One of the intentions that I set for myself this year was to spend more time focusing on my passions and the things that bring me happiness. One of those things is yoga. It has changed my life and my perspective as cliche as that may sound. Yoga is not just an asana practice that I perform to keep me in shape. It is not just a means of relieving the stress of my job, family or finances. Nor is it because of the cute clothes, even though they really are cute. Yoga has become a way of life. A principal that I can use any time even when I am off the mat to conquer my fears, clear my mind and focus my thoughts. Oh yeah, and keep myself in shape.
When you find something that speaks to you, you want to learn all you can about it. You want to submerge yourself within it and share it with others, in hopes that they too will feel the same way you do. I figured the best way to accomplish all of this would be to become a Moksha yoga teacher. As scary as this thought was for me I knew it was something that I desired to do. So I spent the last year preparing myself. My first step was to "submerge" by becoming an energy exchange student at MYSO. During the year that I volunteered I really came to understand the incredible support that is the Moksha Sangha (community). This support is felt from the owners, the teachers and the other members of the community. I also learned a lot about running a studio and the delicate balance of giving to others without allowing yourself to be taken. While my year as an EE was absolutely amazing, I found that I was not getting in as much time as I would like on my personal practice so I reluctantly ended my volunteer time and moved on to the next step, learning.
This year being my year of change, I felt in my heart it was the best time to apply for Moksha teacher's training. Even though I was not sure when the training would be held I had a rough idea and started preparing myself to attend the training in September if it was available. My first hurdle was to arrange my holiday in such a way that I would only have to use 3 weeks of leave to cover the 30 days of training. The catch was this was all happening while my work place was under going a new shift pilot. After miraculously acquiring the perfect vacation coverage I submitted my application at the end of February. I then spent 3 weeks agonizing and stalking my own email account before I got the reply my heart was hoping for. An email congratulating me on being accepted into the training program this fall.
While I still have a long road ahead to achieve my goal it is important to acknowledge that without clearly stating what I want and putting my intention out into the universe, I may not have reached as far as I am right now. It truly feels as if the universe (God) was working along side me and slowly each obstacle started falling into place. As beautiful as this sounds there is an unpleasant side as well. It is important to know that not everyone is going to understand or accept your dreams and you may have to change your circle to include people who support you and eliminate those who are hindering you. As long as you know in your heart what you want the only person stopping you is yourself. So what are you waiting for? Start speaking those intentions into fruition.
At the beginning of this year I started this blog with hopes of capturing my thoughts during this new chapter in my life. Since then I have drafted several posts which have yet to actually be published on my page. Most of the drafts have been rewritten and altered so many times that they no longer really capture my original thought. So much for being authentic!
This past Friday I stepped out of my comfort zone and attended a Yoga Rave at my yoga studio. In the past when events like this came up I would usually find a friend to go with or check to see if I knew anyone attending before I would commit. This time I decided that I was going to not let my fear of maybe not fitting in or having someone to talk to stop me from experiencing something I was very curious about.
I am so happy that I did not let fear control my choices that night because I had one of the most amazing experiences that I have encountered in sometime. Let me begin by describing what we walked into at this Yoga Rave. The owners of the studio, two incredible sisters, converted our practice room into the most exhilarating yoga club with a live DJ, strobe lights, glow bands and a drummer. All of the students were wearing some form of white and the energy in the room was palpitating. We all took part in an amazing 90 minute hot flow class to some great music and then cooled down in a 15 minute mediation. One would think that this was the highlight of the night however it was the events that occurred afterwards that made my night.
After practice our teacher expressed how blessed she was feeling. She was overwhelmed by the fact that this event could draw so many people. There were a few staff members and other teachers but many of the attendees were members of the studio's community, with the sole connection being their love of Moksha and the space the owners have created. This feeling of Sangha and community could definitely be felt after our practice.
After we finished cleaning up the studio we decided to go out for drinks and food, Sitting at our table I was amazed by the beautiful racially different faces that made up this surrogate family. During our conversation the topic came up that I had submitted my application to teacher's training this fall. The encouragement, advise and well wishes that followed was unfathomable. Even though I have always felt the love and inclusion at my studio I could never have anticipated how invested my Moksha family would be. If I ever had any doubts about this new chapter, they were definitely washed away by the love I felt Friday night.
Which brings me back to the beginning of this post. I have been letting fear of what others might think and whether what I had to say was good enough derail my true intentions for my blog. What I write my not resonate with everyone but it is what is resonating with me, which is why I want to capture it here. If for some reason it is able to speak to someone else who may be thinking about changing things up in their life or perhaps encourage some to make changes then that's a bonus. Until then I am just going to continue to confront my fears, one step at a time.